Show me the meaning of being lonely

I have all the time in the world since my students are away for a camp at a hotel, something that I had never experienced as a high school student. I'm not jealous as I think I had an awesome teenage-hood. The music was way too amazing, and my friends were all weirdos which made my life as a teenager unique. I tuned in to Mix Fm everyday just to reminisce the memories of the 90s/early 00s. I can't help but feel nostalgic each time I listen to 'I Try' by Macy Gray, 'Linger' by The Cranberries and even to the ones by pop princess of the 90s  Britney Spears and all of those boy bands, The BSB, NSync, Westlife etc.

Sometimes, I do wonder, why do I have to feel happy each time I listen to these tracks. Is it because of the fact it reminds me of the younger me, the girl who was free to dream whatever that she wants to.? Maybe.. because I often tell my students to appreciate the time in their high school as this is the time when your future is uncertain, you can imagine what kind of person you will be, the characteristics of your future spouse, or which country you will be residing etc. I dream a lot about these and of course some of them became reality, some of them not.

And I have never thought that I only know the meaning of the word 'Loneliness' after getting married. Teenagers, especially, often associates themselves to being alone like it's wrong. Single peeps, mark my words, you should appreciate the bachelorhood that you are now experiencing as it also means freedom to decide. I don't mean to say that married people have no freedom, but really the options are limited and we have many hearts to be taken care of. There are times, when a married people wish they can have some alone time just to fix their inner self as being married is no more about you, you and you. I do have to sacrifice some of my dreams after being someone's wife but that's okay because there are also other dreams that I can achieve.

I'm serious about the fact that you don't have to be sad for being single. Use the time you have to explore the world, treat your parents or read many books while praying that one day you'll find your jodoh.

Of FB and IG

I deactivated my Facebook account 2 years ago. Today, I logged in to FB just to find out that one of my friends whom I know suffered a few problems in her previous relationships is finally married. And the solemnization was today.

But I'm not going to talk about my friend.
After almost 2 years of absence from FB, it was a strange feeling to be on FB again. It felt as if I was in another country. Reading other people's status, it's quite addictive but time consuming. FB is still the same place just like how I left it years ago. The same FB friends keep posting the same kind of status in which I am tempted to conclude that FB is not really a place for me. I might not change that much but I just can't feed my mind reading about other people's lives. Yep, I'm active in Instagram but it's different because I can choose whom I want to follow and IG to me is a platform for photography. I do share some of my personal stuffs but not that much compared to if I'm on FB.

I'm so sorry Facebook. You're fun but I need my time wasted of browsing you years ago to be spent for gardening and reading.
And I'm happier without you. I don't know how to explain but this is sadly, a fact.